epic. that's the word of the week. well maybe not the week, but at least the day... today was an epic bad day. i didnt get to bed until 5 in the morning because i was working on a stupid anatomy lab report (which i didnt finish even after working on it for hours) and then i didnt wake up until 6:50, which left me about 10 minutes to get ready... that OBVIOUSLY didn't work, so rob and i didn't end up leaving the house until 7:15 (which inevitably means we'll catch school bus traffic and be late) so i finally get to school and i met up with caitlin (who made it into the musical at school. hurrah! :]) and then we went to the library where i lost my anatomy "coloring book" aka, the most important coloring book i'll ever own and therefore the worst one to lose. so yeah. bad beginning. then i went to english and failed a vocab quiz because i made flashcards, yeah, but did i remember to study them? 'course not. then after that was neuro... and i am a complete loner in that class. which is always lovely, i know. the most amazing thing that happened to me was i got my quiz back, a quiz that i got a 100 on. then anatomy, aka hell. el prof is a real jockstrap and i seriously wanted nothing more than to punch him today.. thats about it.

so this is me procrastinating on an english paper. i'm supposed to be writing a paper on the significance of zodiac symbols in the book "grendel" by john gardner, but i really don't feel like it. school has been so irritating this year. its senior year and i so far have been more miserable then happy. when's the fun start!? between college essays and college applications, all of my classes, and home, i don't know when i'm going to have time for a life. i havent felt good these past couple of days, so i stayed home from school today and slept all day and it felt amazing and i think i should do it more often. i never lay low and just be me- i feel like im always doing something school related, so today was a nice break. i actually went with mom and dad to see the house that mom wants to live in. it's amazing and really feels like home, so hopefully all goes well with that. i'm pretty excited. i was supposed to go to a college fair tonight, but it doesnt matter because even if i had gone to school today, mom STILL wouldnt have taken me. she always finds an excuse to ignore me so, yeah. and now she has what she feels is a legitimate excuse - she's "withdrawaling" from being off her antidepressants so.. yah. whatever. maybe ill finish this up later. i really have to do my paper.

c.

a case of post-summer insomnia + counseling a friend on how to ask a girl out = a very awake me. 2:50 am on this end of the computer, and me and the younger bro are listening to "smoke on the water" for the 18th billion time. well actually, he's playing it on the guitar and i'm listening (glad i could do my duty on behalf of the musical world and spread the love to an unsuspecting victim :] ). my world is a basically dull existence, yet there are a few sparkles in it. those sparkles would have to be my lovely semipsychotic family, the fact that i will never ever learn every song in the world (so i'll always have something new to play), and that i've got a couple amazing friends. senior year has been utterly pathetic for these first two weeks, but i'm keeping my head up, hoping it will all get better in time. it seems like this past month i have learned a couple very VERY valuable lessons. they are as follows:

1. when a loved one dies and then you have a dream that you're eating dinner with them, run as far away as you possibly can. truth behind this lesson: my grandmother died at like 4 in the morning on august 31, 2008, at a local nursing home. that day, a lady that she worked with told her daughter that she had lunch with my grandma at around noon, one in the afternoon. not even a week later, the other lady died. coincidence? say what you will, but i'm a believer.

2. when dealing with a parent that has recently (okay or not so recently) been cheated on, refrain from listening to ANY song that deals with cheating, unless its like "girl power, i messed his fugly faced 'fun' buddy up and she aint ever gonna get a man again". point in case, mommy dearest. dad came out with his affair just about two years ago (two years on december 23rd) and mom STILL won't let me listen to anything that can be even remotely considered a "cheating" song while i'm around her. what i think is this: she made her bed (stayed with my dad) and now it's time to either a. lay in it, or b. peel all the sheets off and start over. whatever it is she's going to do, she needs to get to it because i'm not going to stay away from the radio for the rest of my life. i discovered this tonight while we were looking for songs for her to put on a cd because she needs some new music for her car and barry manilow or barry white or percy sledge, idk, someone like that had a really good song and shes like "no i wont even think about that song anymore because its about cheating." she's also ruled out Lips Of An Angel (hinder), Follow Me (uncle kracker, though im not sure if that's because she considers it a "cheating song" or just because dad's always liked it alot), Unfaithful (rihanna) and likewise.

3. you cant live because you're going to die -- thanks to mr t, my lovely anatomy teacher. my first week of school, i missed both of his classes because i was at el funeral and stuff of that general nature, and when i went to see him, he told me allll about his class and how he discussed the many dangers of living: waterskiing is dangerous, washing your hands is dangerous, not washing your hands is dangerous, stabbing someone in the eye with a rusty scalpel through a pair of thick-ass safety goggles is dangerous, getting juice from a fetal pig disection lab on your brand new GAP blouse is dangerous... the list goes on and on. so in case you never got the memo, don't breathe-- it's dangerous.

4. falling in love with a friend is a really bad idea. i've learned this through personal experiance, and through the experience of my sister. though part of my bad experience is my own fault (i had a chance and OFCOURSE blew it), its still a bad idea. end of story.

5.NEVER EVER EVER EVER leave broccolli in a fridge that isn't working. for obvious reasons, obviously. our fridge broke the other day, and ma decides to take the "important" stuff out of it - mayonaise, ketchup, winecoolers, sam adams, jelly, leftover chinese food, yogurt, milk and eggs - and left the not so important stuff alone - this not so important stuff did include some brocc./chicken casserole type stuff. leave that alone in the heat for an hour and then open the door... you'll never want to eat brocc. again

okay. so i think that's about it for now. i will post more valuable life lessons as they come, and for now, continue to tell you about my daily garb HS bs. i have the worst locker in the entire world. it never opens, it's right next to these twin junior boys (marshall and... jordan? idk his name), and its in the busiest corridor in the hallway. it stinks, but at least its on ground level and im relatively close to everywhere i have to be. theres surprisingly not too much drama amungst the group of lollygaggers yet, but when that comes to be, i'll post. it just seems to be the same stuff as last year - SHE hates HER because "HER" slept with "SHE"'s boyfriend last year, IT still thinks she's all that and will walk all over anyone to make herself feel.. good. bullllllllllpooop if you ask me. and then there's me, this little ray of sunshine (hardly, lol) and i do my best just to make it through the days. ive got alot going on right now, but it's nothing i won't get through. college essay, college appps.... to think by christmas all this stressing will be over and done with and seem like a waste of time.. haha.
besides for school, i've also decided to get back in the habit of doing some sort of exercise on a daily basis. today it was a two mile run with the fluffpup, which was nice. i didn't realize how out of shape i got over the summer until i got home and my legs felt like jelly and i was so wobbly i thought i was going to fall over if i tried to stand up. its deffinitely time to get this lardass back into shape (and no, not round, because although round IS a shape, its not the shape i want my butt). today's workout soundtrack included songs such as "it ends tonight" by AAR, "give me novacaine" by greenday, "comatose" by skillet, "your body is a wonderland" by john mayer, and a bunch of others. tomorrow should be fun, when im going to be aching and trying to run up a hill. *sigh*
well, i guess now's a good time to get to bed, seeing i have to wake up at like 9 to get ready to go to a football game that starts at 12. have a lovely day, all.

bonne nuit,

c. <3